I think

a lot of your antagonism comes from fear. I don't join in, but naming

it spurs me on, and I can't overthrow it either... It's easy to be strong to

the strong and weak to the weak. I want to lower the intensity to a

level I can manage, only slowly ramping it up. I don't know… Maybe

just trying and getting it wrong, seasons changing, experience, and

other people's stuff can all come together. And regret. I go over the

past and observe and analyze. I wonder if ego has such power because

of its pivotal role in the production of passion? I need more

temperance to exist in the right place. How long you've been a

certain way, and the conditions that led to your present state make

you greedy, a protagonist? It was so hard to hold these thoughts that I became useless for a few days. I hope that the rest of life will be

naturally obtained by giving up greed!